|
All eyes are at the top and bottom of the division in a long weekend of football that could decide the title and the lucky occupant of the third relegation place. geoffpikey kindly shares his predictions and offers some quality comments.
geoffpikey: As the season will soon be over I’m hoping/predicting GOALS and an as high as possible finish for our mighty Hammers. I have never placed a bet in my life so by all means: lump on!
FRIDAY’S GAMES
______________________________________________
EVERTON vs WATFORD (1945 ko)
Everton can neither climb above nor fall below their current seventh position, which does make this game something of a dead rubber. It’s been a good season for the Toffees as they finish top of the group outside the top six, but it’s hard to see them improving on that next season. The summer offers less certainty for Watford and, in particular, for their manager. Both teams are playing for pride only and it would take a brave man or a hornet to predict anything other than a home win.
geoffpikey: Everton currently can’t score for Toffee (you’re welcome), but Lukaku’s agent will be screaming “Shop Window!!” at him - which doesn’t mean “play like a mannequin”.
“Ratso” Mazzari’s job is “in pericolo”. Will it be worth him learning any English for 2017-2018? Non ne ho idea! 2-0
WEST BROM vs CHELSEA (2000 ko)
There must be more glamourous places to claim the title than the Hawthornes. But that won’t matter to Signor Conte, who will want to get it all wrapped up at the earliest opportunity leaving Monday night at home to Watford for the celebrations. Rather them than Spurs. The blue flag to be stuck up the Baggies’ you-know-where. Away win.
geoffpikey: Pulis will park his bus, but it just won’t work and WBA’s form is poor. Just get it over with so we can all laugh at Spurs again, even if it means 0-2 to the blue scum.
SATURDAY’S GAMES
______________________________________________
MAN CITY vs LEICESTER (1230 ko)
It started so well for Pep, but after a long and gruelling season he finds himself in the unfamiliar position of battling for third place. The reigning champions, meanwhile, are cruising towards a mid-table finish, as many predicted at the start of the campaign. Man City cannot take this for granted. Home win.
geoffpikey: Guardiola gets right on my nerves, but – measure for measure - I think he’ll be triumphant over Shakespeare’s mob. The Leicester fella has worked wonders, but much ado about nothing here. Is that enough Bardness? 2-0.
BOURNEMOUTH vs BURNLEY
Two of the favourites for relegation at the start of the season meet at the end of the season with Premier League status intact. A remarkable achievement for both clubs, even if this means a dreary fixture. A draw is probably the best result we could hope for. Draw.
geoffpikey: Last on MOTD “battle” of the chippy B teams in a game that BLEEDS half-and-half scarves – play up, you BOURNELEYS! - and everyone happy just to be here. 2-1
MIDDLESBROUGH vs SOUTHAMPTON
Boro leave the Premier League after the briefest of returns with the sort of whimper that’s characterised much of their season. But with the burden of survival now lifted, will they at last have the freedom to play to win? Do they have a parting shot left in them? Unlikely. Away win.
geoffpikey: Southampton are shit now, aren’t they? Boro, who cares, but sod’s law says 1-0. I have no idea, really.
SUNDERLAND vs SWANSEA
Speaking of parting shots, here’s Sunderland’s opportunity to drag someone else down with them. This is an interesting game insofar as it pits a team with relegation worries removed against one operating under a heavy layer of stress. Swansea’s Premier League future is firmly in their own hands, but they will be acutely aware of the fragility of those hands and that anything but a win will hand a huge boost to Hull, who play on Sunday. Very difficult to predict with any confidence and Paul Clement’s man management skills will be given their severest test yet. Away win.
geoffpikey: After last week, Sunderland have shown they’re not all complete cnts, but this will be tough for them. Clement’s another one who gets on my wick (and I don’t know why), but I can see the Swans scraping this with the Iceman and Llorente really too good for the rest of their team and the Mackems. 0-1
STOKE vs ARSENAL (1730 ko)
Stoke are safe and Arsenal are the filling in a Manchester sandwich. As United snap at their heels, so they also snap at those of City and Liverpool. Arsene Wenger’s future continues as an intriguing sub-plot. Draw or defeat today will turn up the volume of the ungrateful Gooner gits pressing for change, while a win will do likewise for those afraid of what the post-Wenger era will bring. Away win.
geoffpikey: We all fucking hate Stoke and can’t have them above us. Sanchez is looking happy-ish again. Wenger IN and a ‘Pool punishing 1-2.
SUNDAY’S GAMES
______________________________________________
CRYSTAL PALACE vs HULL (1200 ko)
All the pressure is on Hull after their unexpected home defeat to Sunderland last weekend. Depending on Swansea’s result yesterday, they could find the pressure ratcheted up still further as they face a Palace side that will be seriously crapping themselves if they lose today. But BFS has a record to maintain and will be in no mood to jeopardise that with lose entertainment. This is as much a test of the two managers as of the respective players; it could be a cracker, but could also be an almighty bore. Draw.
geoffpikey: Many of my fellow WHOers will be hoping for Fat Sam Failure (Allargeddon!) but I really don’t see it. Hull look doomed. Scrappy 1-0.
WEST HAM UNITED vs LIVERPOOL (1415 ko)
This has been the kind of season where there’s an equal chance of thumping or being thumped by the Northwest Hub Cap Supply Company. Jurgen Klopp will be desperate for all three points as he battles Man City and Arsenal for third place. Meaning he’s likely to field a very attacking side, meaning that Slaven will want to deny them creative space and hope to catch them on the break. We go into this with tails firmly up after last week’s monumental demolition of Spurs. A similar approach today could bring similar success. Thoroughly looking forward to what could be a real corker of a game. Draw.
geoffpikey: Any logic I have/had is flying skywards in a sea of bubbles. That’s right. Sea in the sky. That, and I have no idea anymore what Bilic is up to and what effect it will have. One of the few joys of this season will be fucking up other hated teams, so happy to oblige and shit on the Scousers. And I honestly think we can win this. 2-1, with the footybook of fairytales saying Carroll gets the winner (then again, he may be dead) and Ginge to be immense. Again. (Sturridge to snap a ligament, please, just to save Bilic from himself.) IRONS.
SPURS vs MAN UTD (1630 ko)
Poor old Spurs. The nearly men. The Lasagna men. Y, oh why, does nobody remember who came second? This farewell to White Hart Lane ahead of a season of Wembley wilderness will benefit Arsenal if Spurs win and will bring tears if Spurs lose. Man U were far from convincing in progressing to the UEFA Cup Final, but will want to retain confidence going into that final. Draw.
geoffpikey: As I think Chelsea will win, this could be what no one in football calls a dead rubber. Writing this before Man U in Europa, too, so no idea whether this will be a “resting game” for Mourinho or a last minute panic for 4th. I haven’t even done the maths, I'm that rogue. Sky will still call it Super Sunday. I don’t give a fuck. 1-1
|
